to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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