call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
