I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
