i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
