It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
