you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
