Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
