We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
