You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
3 2 1 whiskey
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
