Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I want to be your penis for a week.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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