Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
