evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
