I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
