Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
