brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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