So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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