party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
