i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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