Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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