Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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