His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
