maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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