If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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