Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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