Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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