you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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