I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
