Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
