I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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