so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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