she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
