does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
