The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
