hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
