We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
