if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is the high leading the old right now
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
where are my eyebrows?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
