You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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