I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
