I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
