Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
