If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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