Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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