I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
