just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
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