respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
did i walk over a car last night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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