she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This is my gift to your gina
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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