Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize