I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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