okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
