have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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