and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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