So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
