on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize