summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
