Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sorry my hands just texted you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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