so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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