70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
