my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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