she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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