Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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