my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I understand Curling. That high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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