Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
