You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
