I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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