Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
