Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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